Worthy

So, even though I wrote an entry a little while ago, I think I have a slightly related part B to it.  As inspired by Melvin Davis' status on Facebook - "Sometimes you have to let go of the thought of experiencing love with someone else, in order to allow love to come at a more appropriate time, from somewhere else. It’s important that you do so" - I have come to realize that sometimes, even when your heart has latched onto a situation, you may have to let it go.  That doesn't always mean that the relationship has to end (depending on the situation), but your heart may have to ease its grip on a person or thing in order that you may have sanity.  For instance, if you are in love with someone who has a significant other, be it bf/gf, fiance, or spouse, you may need to ratchet down those feelings.  Ideally, there would be no cheating in any situation, but even if you are just friends with someone, and you find some attractions going on, be careful.  No matter what you may find with that person, there are no justifiable reasons for crossing a line.  Even if you feel the need to express your feelings, you are under no circumstances to pursue said person while they are still in relationship.  If you are significant enough to them, it is up to them to change their relationship status prior to coming after you.
But beyond that, sometimes we have to realize that some relationships in our lives are to teach us things.  We are sometimes meant to be friends with a person in order to gain insight into what a good relationship should be or to understand a need/part of yourself that was not previously accessed.  Unfortunately, we sometimes cling to the person and not the lesson, and when we do this, we can miss/lose both.  So, my advise (as I am learning myself) is to take each relationship where it is for what it is.  If it is meant to be and you are meant to walk down the aisle with the person, it will happen, but I wouldn't advise trying to "make" that happen.  Besides, if you can "make" it happen with you, what makes you think someone else down the road can't also, leaving you as the disrespected one on the other end.   I'm well aware that this is easier said than done, especially when your heart is deeply involved and you see in this person something that you've never seen/always wanted/think you must have in that particular person, but I promise that things will be much smoother if you practice patience and allow things to take their course.  
I mean, honestly, how would life be if you were now with the first person you ever liked?  Was that person really for you or was there something at the time that sparked your interest?  We tend to be attracted to people who match where we are, but as we grow, we change and they change - then what?  Enjoy each relationship for what it is, and let things end up where they may.  Manipulation and such are never a good idea, but a foundation like that can only really lead to a shaky relationship....  
Know that you are worthy of more than someone else's seconds.  You do not have to choose to be 2nd place.  It is my belief that there is someone for everyone, and while monogamy isn't always at the top of everyone's list, know that you don't have to be an option.  If you think where you are is the best you can get, I would reconsider your view of yourself.  You are beautiful and unique and special enough to have 1 person who is devoted to only you.  So if you have to let go of 1 great person to get that person who is perfect for you. 
Don't worry - this is a pill I'm currently trying to swallow myself.  Tis a bitter pill, but like the vitamins/medicine my mom gave me as a kid, it will make me stronger in the long run.

Can I Lay in Your Arms?

The title of my entry is the title of a song by Donald Lawrence and the perfect expression of my current state of heart.  For as long as I can remember, I've wrestled with the need to be held.  As made clear by our friend Gary Chapman, my love language is probably physical touch, and so I tend to require/desire large amounts of physical love and care.  This, of course, can be a little complicated when it comes to a number of factors - the opposite sex, comfort level with a person, intentions behind touch, etc.  One of my devotionals the other day was about the healing benefits of physical touch, and while I couldn't agree more, I also have come to realize that there can be many problems associated with such.  Not to say that I'm the greatest thing since eggs and bacon, but I find that males have a hard time providing any sort of holding without desiring/trying to get more than that.  
And while I love God to pieces and I appreciate the time spent in God's presence, there is something about a physical pair of arms that wrap me in warmth and care.  One of my best friends actually introduced me to the idea of intimacy when he just decided to hold me one day.  [Granted, I'd heard about intimacy before, but I never really knew what it was or experienced it with that label attached to it until that moment.]  I probably could have gone straight to Heaven in that moment because of the beauty of that moment.  That seemed to be the fulfillment of my deepest desires for a caring physical touch that I never really even knew I needed.  The problem is that I cannot get that on a regular basis.  Is it possible to hire a person to be on-call to give loving, meaningful hugs or just hold me when I need it?
If someone can figure out how I can work out this need for physical contact/intimacy in a healthy way, please let me know, because I'm scratching my head at this point.