The title of my entry is the title of a song by Donald Lawrence and the perfect expression of my current state of heart. For as long as I can remember, I've wrestled with the need to be held. As made clear by our friend Gary Chapman, my love language is probably physical touch, and so I tend to require/desire large amounts of physical love and care. This, of course, can be a little complicated when it comes to a number of factors - the opposite sex, comfort level with a person, intentions behind touch, etc. One of my devotionals the other day was about the healing benefits of physical touch, and while I couldn't agree more, I also have come to realize that there can be many problems associated with such. Not to say that I'm the greatest thing since eggs and bacon, but I find that males have a hard time providing any sort of holding without desiring/trying to get more than that.
And while I love God to pieces and I appreciate the time spent in God's presence, there is something about a physical pair of arms that wrap me in warmth and care. One of my best friends actually introduced me to the idea of intimacy when he just decided to hold me one day. [Granted, I'd heard about intimacy before, but I never really knew what it was or experienced it with that label attached to it until that moment.] I probably could have gone straight to Heaven in that moment because of the beauty of that moment. That seemed to be the fulfillment of my deepest desires for a caring physical touch that I never really even knew I needed. The problem is that I cannot get that on a regular basis. Is it possible to hire a person to be on-call to give loving, meaningful hugs or just hold me when I need it?
If someone can figure out how I can work out this need for physical contact/intimacy in a healthy way, please let me know, because I'm scratching my head at this point.
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