Freedom

So, yes, it is July 4th - the day that America celebrates its independence from Great Britain and became an independent country.  Of course, as a person of African American heritage, I find it hard to celebrate a day that meant nothing to the slaves who didn't become at all liberated on this day in 1776.  It is especially difficult for me to celebrate an independence when this country has enslaved many people and places with its empire mentality in the name of democracy and "freedom."
Yet, that's not what I'm writing about today.  The freedom indicated by the title of today's blog is deeper and (to me) more important than this nation's independence and it has several sources.  The freedom I am most concerned with for myself and for all people is the freedom to be beautifully authentic.  There is no greater freedom in my mind than the freedom to be who God called and created me to be.  If I cannot be true to myself, what good is anything else in life?  As my pastor talked about this morning, we can have all kinds of stuff and be materially successful and still feel very empty.  People too often attach who they are to stuff, status, people, even religion, but I say that none of these can bring fulfillment and satisfaction.  [Note that I said religion, not God - there's a huge difference.]  Having wrestled for 3 years at STVU, I have come to realize that authenticity isn't the most important thing - it's the only thing.  If I have to hide/fake who I am, what I need/want, what I believe, etc, then something is wrong.  If I can't be honest and I have to hide, I can quickly lose who I really am, leaving me eternally creating a persona and face for others. 
I have thus sought to live authentically and seek relationships in which I can be authentic.  I will say that this has been difficult, because I'm not the most conventional person.  Admittedly, there are some facets of myself that I do not share completely with everyone I know, because there are certain battles I'd rather not fight.  For instance, my theological beliefs since graduating from seminary are vastly different than they were when I entered seminary.  In some of my relationships, this has caused some tension, but at heart, I am still the same person, and I cannot change what I believe because people disagree.  While my friends are aware of what I believe, having theological debates about the particulars thereof is an easy way to end a friendship that has more at stake than doctrinal differences.  They allow me to be me, believing what I believe, and I am respectful enough to do the same for them. 
And the freedom in a relationship to be completely honest is invaluable.  In thinking about my best friend, it still amazes me the freedom that he gives me to be honest about my feelings about everything.  He always listens and acknowledges my feelings, whether he agrees or not.  There are times when he will check me on things, but I'm glad that I can be confident enough in our friendship to be open and trust that he'll still be my friend at the end of the day.  Having lived on edge with my feelings for years, the ability to breathe and release and allow others to take care of me and being able to trust a relationship... I can only thank God for the strength of heart that I've gained.  It is God who created me and who ultimately protects my heart, but I'm so glad that I don't feel like I have to hide in a bubble away from all of humanity, because God has blessed me with some angels with whom I can be authentic and be loved for who I am.

I challenge you to test the authenticity of your interactions and relationships.  How many people in your life can you truly be honest with?  Can you truly be honest with yourself about yourself?  If not, explore why.  I promise you, authentic living is worth the struggle.